"Sometimes no story is a story" - reporter old saw.
In the case of Tiger Woods, this epithet does not apply. After winning the US Open's full 18 -hole round Monday, then sudden death to win, then releasing that he's had a torn ACL since the Memorial might be a story. The PGA tour's spit-take could be heard from Mars.
Albeit, PGA officials' GPA scores are reportedly lower than a turtle's belly. But successful sports television is about drama. So don't stop digging up Native American grounds for new courses just yet.
Time will tell part: If he's not a robot (he went to Stanford), his season's over, PGA ratings have been shorted by Vegas sports books, and so forth. But it's his knee, therefore, "Tiger Can't Pass Jack." "Tiger Retires," "Arena Lacrosse: Fighting Has Nothing To Do With Skyrocketing Ratings."
Sometimes a story gets magnetic. And, the Stanford crack was a joke. Stanford's nice.
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Lint rollers are great. Now that I've received this marvel as a gift from George Bush, I've learned that its magical properties will enable me do my laundry, like, once every two months, as opposed to the continuous life-draining stream of laundry I currently have to do once per month.
As a former Celtic hater and Laker lover, I am now a Golden State fan and am therefore objective about the current Series. In 1984, the Celtic used the forces of evil at their disposal to get under (the necks) and skins of the Lakers and won. Then, for the Lakers in 1985, it became an existential question: Are we us? Or are we them?
Answer: Lakers were themselves and win in 1985, despite the (great) Hick From French Lick's patent-pending push off step back jumper.
Nowadays, I like both teams. Thank heavens we weren't subjected to Pistons v. Spurs. The 2-3-2 Finals format has followed suit, accept for one thing. The Lakers aren't as good as the Celtics. Celtics in Six. Paul Pierce Series MVP.
Unless I'm wrong. In that,case, Golden State will "threepeat(c)" (Pat Riley owns trademark).
Show us something unlucky.
Has anything unlucky happened to you today?
Well, it started when my car broke down. I went to rent-a-wreck and noticed you could rent a postal minivan. So I did. Then that broke down. A kindly Oakland police officer was understandably befuddled by my story and garb. Oh yeah, I was dressed for an interview as a children's entertainer. She was understanding though and listened. But when she noticed that my insurance had expired three business days before, she dropped her hands at her sides, looked me in the eye and said, "Now you have one chance to tell me what _actually_ is going on."
I repeated in earnest that what I'd told her was true and that if she called the rental place, they'd corroborate my story. I sensed her patience with this _clown_ was wearing thin.
"mister , I've got criminals to catch. You, I think are one, but I'm sick of looking at you. Get your insurance updated and good luck at your interview. Good day.
So I didn't get the job.
Oh mama, the company's growing
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